Yeah

I know I've been suspiciously absent this past week. I've been suffering from a little depression lately. I'll try to come back soon, but you never know with this sort of thing. Ciao.

Update 21-11-05

Thanks for the words of encouragement, guys.  Unfortunately I had a piece of bad news today that can only send me deeper into my shitty bad mood.  I got a call while I was at work to tell me that as of tomorrow evening I'm surplus to requirements.  After a year of working for these guys you may expect a little notice before they let you go so you have a chance to get your affairs in order, but apparently Energy Services Ltd. don't think I deserve that measure of respect.  Bah.

So.  I suddenly have no job a month before Christmas, and the only options for a new job seem to be in the telemarketing/data entry fields.  I have almost zero in the bank, so I've been applying for every shitty temp job I can find just so there'll be some money coming in. 

I'll tell you the most annoying thing.  It seems that my employment agency knew that I was being fired as early as last Thursday.  I'd booked this coming Wednesday off last Friday, and my boss didn't mention when I booked it that I'd be redundant by then.  That just stinks.  What kind of people do that?  Seriously, I'd like to know what goes through their heads when they make these decisions.  How can they not collapse in on themselves into a black hole of callousness?

I'll have a small measure of revenge, though.  I'll be expected to drive to head office to return my computer and uniform at some point, but if they want them back they can pick them up themselves.  They'll be in a black bin liner on my front lawn as of tomorrow evening.  Ha.

Anyway.  As you might expect all of this is having an effect on my already shaky emotional state.  Everything just seems so pointless and bleak.  I think it's the season.  I need light, but I've been unable to get myself out of bed before 11 for the past few weeks so I've only seen a few hours of daylight each day.  That doesn't help. 

Was it always this hard?  My memory doesn't seem to stretch as far as it used to, but I seem to remember a time in my late teens when the future seemed so bright.  After four years at uni I was convinced that I'd fall into a well paid job, find some little hottie to have my babies and, I dunno, live in a castle or something.  Naive, I know, but we all believed it.  Now I can't remember a single moment in which I've been really content in years.  The future seems to be another several decades of low-paid toil and then incontinence and senility.  I know this feeling will pass, but it just plain sucks right now.

Anyway, I'm taking my commenters advice.  Tonight I'll drink.  Tomorrow I'll get up early and get busy with finding work.  I may have to shovel shit, but the bills must be paid.  And don't worry about me.  I'll be good :)

Comments

[Will Franklin]

Hang in there, man.