Sortapundit

The Flaming Tamale

Few would have guessed that PayPerPost - the guys who allow us little bloggers to get paid for blogging - would have become such a huge success story in just a couple of months.  I thought it'd crash and burn after a month or so, to be honest, but it seems to be going from strength to strength. 

It seems, however, that there is a sinister force lurking in the shadows; an evil puppetmaster pulling the strings behind the scenes.  This evil presence goes by the name of the Flaming Tamale, and it is she who accepts or rejects many of the paid posts on this here blog. 

Why is she evil, I hear you ask?  Well, it's simple.  She spends her workdays in a replica Star Trek uniform, soaked in the blood of rejected bloggers.  Really.  That uniform used to be white.  The word on the street is that she visited a blogger who broke the rules and planted the head of a prized racing horse in his bed. 

Unfortunately, though, she got the wrong house.  She was looking for number 69, but she went to 96.  You should have seen the look on old Mr. Goldwater's face when he woke up.  It was so funny you could plotz!

Sorry.  I just wanted to get the word 'plotz' into a post.  Mission accomplished. 

Say What?

Continuing with the medical theme, I'm reminded of a friend I had about 20 years ago in my first years of school.  I don't remember the details but this guy had some kind of congenital illness that caused profound hearing loss in one of his ears, so he had to wear a big bulky hearing aid. 

Now, this was back in the early 80's, before we made the massive leap in miniturization that came in the following years.  The hearing aid was huge, and clearly uncomfortable.  The kid had to bring this big tub of salve to school with him to soothe his chafing ear, and it always glowed bright red whatever he tried. 

Still, since then we've come on a bit.  Hearing aids today need not be the obtrusive bulky nightmares they once were, and you could probably get through your day without anyone even notice you were wearing one.  Again, this comforts me.  After years of listening to Foghat at earbleeding volumes my hearing isn't what it once once.  Worryingly, I think I have a little tinnitus.  Still, I can rest easy knowing that by the time I need a hearing aid they'll probably by almost invisible to the naked eye. 

ICE, ICE, Baby

About, oh, a year ago I parked my old car in a bad area and came back to it to find a gaping gulf where my CD player used to be.  After pounding the floor with my fists and cursing humanity in general and this particular street in particular I ordered myself a reasonably cheap CD/MP3 player from the Internet. 

For the price it wasn't that bad.  the sound wasn't top quality but it was enough not to annoy me.  However, in the past few weeks it's begun to skip tracks and turn off of its own accord, so it looks like some new ICE is in order. 

Thing is, I have a little more money these days so I'm thinking of something a little more flash.  I was surprised to find, when browsing around the Dixons website, that in-car DVD players can be had for around £150 (about $285) these days.  I don't really need one, but I figure what the hell.  You only live once.

Whatever I decide, I'm pretty sure it'll come from the Dixons site.  They have a pretty cool range of in car audio systems.  Besides, I'm too lazy to actually visit a high street store.  These guys deliver. 

Say No To Carbs!

Diets have always been for girls.  It's as simple as that.  In all my life I have never known a guy to freely admit he's on a diet.  Especially a fad diet.  That is, until a year or two ago. 

When the Atkins Diet suddenly became popular everyone suddenly jumped on the bandwagon.  Even some of my male friends - big, burly men who drink and smoke and talk about football while cupping their crotches - suddenly began admitting that they were trying it out.  It's amazing.

The reason, I think, is that the Atkins Diet is one of the very few popular diets that actually seems to produce results - only if you manage to stick to it, though.  A few of my, ahem, more robust, food-loving friends managed to drop a couple of inches - and these are people whose only acquaintance with health foods is the L&T in their BLT.

Here's a site that gives you a few useful facts about the Atkins Diet, if you're curious about hopping on the bandwagon.  As long as you have a little willpower it does seem to work, so there's no reason not to give it a try.

Best Mortgage Brokers

A few months ago I wrote a whole raft of articles for a mortgage website.  It was dull, thankless work but I got to learn a little about home loans.  A few friends and family members have reached the age at which they're buying their first homes, and for people my age the idea of paying closing costs is not a pretty thought. 

You see, people in their mid-20s like me tend to have very little money - but we're packed with promise.  Our earnings should - in a perfect worls - continue to increase steadily in the next five-ten years, but we don't want to wait until our mid-30s to be able to afford a decent home. 

So, the ideal mortage for us guys tends to be one with as little initial outlay as possible.  Since closing costs can eat up a big chunk of our capital we'd prefer to avoid them - even if it means accepting a slightly higher interest rate and higher costs in the long term.

It's always useful, then, to take advantage of the great resources offered by online mortgage brokers like PersonalHomeLoanMortgages.com before jumping into your first mortgage.  With a little planning and and a little sound advice you can arrange your finance to get the most house for your money.  These guys offer sound advice in heaps, and they can help you figure out the best way to go.  Sounds like a no brainer to me.

I've Been Framed!

Something that never ceases to annoy me is the process of buying windows.  Whether it's because if petty vandalism or home improvements, I never know what to look for.  I know nuthin' 'bout nothin' apart from how to write, so I'm stumped when it comes to choosing replacement windows that will both look good and last a long time. 

The problem is that there are so many damned options.  Should I go for wooden frames, vinyl, fibreglass or aluminum?  Jebus knows.  I have no idea about the pros and cons of each type. 

Fortunately, the Internet provides us with a brain we can store outside our heads.  It doesn't matter that I don't know these things because I can access the information with a few clicks of the mouse.  This site on replacement windows, for instance, offers tips on how to choose windows to suit your requirements, maintenance tips and all sorts of information to make sure that you make the right choice.  Good on ya, Internet.

Hip Hop

The mother of a friend of mine last year went in for hip replacement surgery, and I expected her to need 24 hour care for months afterwards while she recovered.  Just a couple of months later, though, she was back walking around like a woman 20 years her junior.  I became fascinated by the process, and took a look at a few websites devoted to hip replacement surgery.  The site in the link, in particular, caught my attention. 

It turns out that they can replace an arthritic hip with just a small incision, instead of having to cut open the whole area.  The result of this, of course, is that the risk of infection drops greatly, as does the time it takes to recover from the surgery.  That means that patients can be off their crutches in just a month or two.  It's amazing what doctors can do today, and I can't help but wonder what advances we'll make by the time my joint begin to wear out.  I figure I've got a good 30 years before my body starts to fall apart (much less if I keep smoking as much as I do), so it's comforting to know that we're making leaps ahead in medical care for the elderly. 

Free Cell Phones - Make Sure You're Getting a Good Deal

In the past ten years, in my opinion, there have been two single forms of technology that have transformed our lives (usually for the better, though some may disagree): the Internet, and cellphones. 

Both technologies have allowed us to connect with our family and friends both locally and around the globe, and both technologies come with a price - a price that can be reduced by simply shopping around a little. 

Obviously, we can change our Internet suppliers to suit our needs - pay a little more for a fast connection or save a few dollars with a simple dial up line.  The savings aren't huge, but they're there anyway.

With cellphones, however, there is an enormous gulf between cheap and pricy.  Business users can choose deals that cost thousands of dollars every month (if you can believe it), and people who just need a phone for the occasional emergency call (read: Dad, can you pick me up from the party?  Yeah, I know it's 2am.  So what?) can choose a simple pay as you go package. 

For many people a monthly contract is the best option.  Usually offering a set number of free minutes, free SMS messages or free mobile Internet time - and usually even free phones - contract deals can be a very useful option for many cellphone users. 

Of course, before locking yourself into a long term contract it's important to make sure you're getting the best deal.  After all, choosing the wrong plan can work out to be very expensive over the length of the contract.  So, your best bet is to follow these simple tips to make sure you make the right choice. 

Poker On A Mac.com

As long-term readers of this blog will be aware, I've always been a big fan of gambling.  Perhaps, on occasion, a little too big a fan, as my bank manager never fails to remind me. 

Despite my love of all things gambling I've never really got my head around poker.  Oh, I understand the rules of Texas Hold'em, and I could probably play a few hands with some decent players and not get too badly destroyed, but I haven't spent enough time around the game to get a good feel for it.

That's why, if I decided to start up a poker night or play online, the first thing I'd do would be to follow the advice of Poker On A Mac.com and join a poker forum.  by chatting to seasoned poker players and picking up a few tips I could save myself a lot of money in the long run.

Oh Dear Redux

Now, my schadenfreude concerning my sister in the last post may strike the reader as a little cruel.  Still, considering that I had to stay up until 3 in the afternoon yesterday so I could give her a ride to a friend's house (a friend who lived a ten-minute bus journey away, by the way), I think I've earned a little animosity towards her.  I like to go to bed no later than 10am, usually, so I can get 8 hours sleep and be up in time for dinner.