I noticed a few days ago that a lot of people find my site through strange Google searches. F'rinstance, not ten minutes ago some unfortunate soul stumbled upon my ramblings while searching for "free female masturbation hints". Here's a hint: if you need to use a search engine you're probably not doing it right. Even better, someone just arrived at the site searching for "naked pictures"+michelle wie. Not only am I the first result on Google, but I'm also the third result.
It turns out, though, there's another blogger whose readership seems to be formed amost entirely from those searching for Internet filth: Rob at Gut Rumbles. OK, so it's not a huge surprise that a blogger with such an, ahem, colourful vocabulary as Acidman should attract strange searches, but take a look at this sample:
Animal sex, boobs, whacking off better, is having dogs lick your pussy bad, how to shave my pussy, red headed sluts, girls sh*t in pants, animal sex, "long nipples", why does my dog eat turds, girls toilet tales, costa rica pussy, animal sex, getting married white woman f*cks black man blog, please bang my wife, my tits are so big that I can't see in front of me, mom and daughter f*ck team, is the ocean's water full of human sh*t, animal sex, 13 year old f*ck, "only pussy in the world", men getting f*cked, spanish word for tits, f*ck my child, teach my ass, animal sex, animal sex, anal maggots, forever bra-less, the most things you can put in your pussy, sex hard animal, red headed sluts drink, painted boobs, animal sex, animal sex, anal stretching, clinic sex, boobs, milf whore, boobs, animal sex, animal sex, monkey f*cking a football, mom teaching children how to f*ck, teach my ass, my pussy farted, doggie sex, girls with animal sex, watch queer sex, young boys rubber, does an ass feel like a pussy, boobs, "sex as a weapon", big man dick, I just had anal sex poo, animal sex, small dick, menthol mint oral sex, animal sex, costa rican whores, first animal sex, breasts that are bigger than watermelons, "my son's dick", brazilian animal sex movie, gut+rape+sex, flap tits, making love on the couch, electric razor shave pussy, whacking it off, sh*t pants and got some big ol titties.
All 70 of those searches found Gut Rumbles in the last three hours. Let me ask this: do any of you guys visit blogs to read about current events, or are y'all just lost, horny travellers looking for pictures of dogs screwing large-chested blonde crack whores?
Let me make it clear that I don't think visitors who find blogs through search engines are any less desirable than regular blog readers. I discovered blogs through Google, and no doubt many more do the same every day while Googling to find out the capital of New Zealand and information about scramjets (and, to prove it, page 5 and page 3). The problem is that people who stumble upon a blog while searching for animal sex and over-sized breasts... well, they have bigger issues on their minds, and are unlikely to stick around and sample the bloggy goodness.
According to Sitemeter, in the 3 hours before I wrote this Gut Rumbles received something in the region of 700 unique visitors. That works out to 2,044,000 visitors every year if it were to continue at a steady rate. Now, since the site received 70 visitors in the same period who arrived through dubious searches and almost certainly left immediately, around 10% of the readers are useless to advertisers (and pretty much everyone else, barring the porn industry). Two hundred thousand visitors a year padding the stats, but contributing nothing to the substance of the blog.
And Gut Rumbles isn't even that big a site. Glenn Reynolds, according to his current Sitemeter average, receives a touch over 53 million unique visitors a year and his various Blogads (in a perfect world in which they were always sold out at a weekly rate) would net him over $260,000 a year. They most likely don't, but it's just an example. Now, Glenn doesn't have the function to look at search terms in Sitemeter open to the public, but I wonder how much of his readership is padded with these sorts of searches. If it's anything like that of Gut Rumbles then he may be getting over 5 million extra visitors every year who are just hunting for porn - while overcharging his advertisers by $26,000.
But let's take into account that Glenn rarely uses the kind of language that would make the site show up on the kind of Google searches Gut Rumbles gets. Even so, it's often random assortments of innocent words that get picked up by Google on the weird searches. See how many times Glenn uses the word 'anal'. Hell, even a search for 'animal sex' brings up 7 results.
But let's be charitable and say that only 5% of Glenn's readers find the site accidentally. That's still well over two and a half million readers every year padding the figures, and that's a hell of a lot of useless readers in anyone's book.
Here's another: DailyKos. The site receives, according to Sitemeter, over 277 million unique visitors a year. Including the content of the comments, I'm certain there's enough profanity for it to attract more than its fair share of porn searches. But let's be charitable and stick with the 5% we used for Instapundit. Even that conservative figure leaves Kos with a mite under 14 million useless visitors every year - a fact that may be of great interest to his advertisers - who would net him (again, perfect world scenario) $729,300 a year.
Still, I'm all for keeping this one on the down low since, if the advertising industry were to realise that they couldn't sell to 10% of our audience, they'd insist on us lowering our rates. And mine won't go much lower without me paying them.
Part of Wizbang's Carnival of the Trackbacks.
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